A little while into the flight, someone from behind us stood up and told their companion they were going to the bathroom. Upon this announcement, Lauren Elizabeth's eyes lit up.
"Bathroom? Do airplanes have bathrooms?!"
You would have thought she just overheard someone say there was a unicorn sitting on a rainbow in the back of the plane.
"Yes baby. Airplanes have bathrooms but we don't want to go because they're really, really small."
"I have to go to the bathroom."
(Of course you do.)
I've never really thought of what it would be like to take a four year old into an airplane bathroom. Let me tell you. It's not good.
The folding thingy ridiculous door was the first of our problems. Trying to push it open, we squeezed into the five square inches of aroma filled space. Pushing the accordion door shut, I became challenged with the task of how to help her. I didn't want her to sit down on the seat...not that I'm a germ freak...but I thought it best to try and hold her over so she wouldn't touch anything.
I'll give you ten bucks to hover a four year old over a moving target the size of a volleyball in midair. Did I forget to mention the fact that the bathroom sink was clogged and filled with water? Yes? Well, as I leaned over to make sure she was hitting the right area, my hair fell nicely into the cesspool of dirty sink water. Shooting up, I unintentionally shifted her aim slightly towards the front which had her soak me down my legs and over my feet. (I was wearing flip flops.)
"Mommy, I'm done!"
As she smiled from her new and exciting adventure of "going in the airplane", I proceeded to bang my head from trying to bend down to wipe my feet and legs.
Pulling open the obnoxious door, I wedged it back with my squishy foot to try and wash her hands over the filled sink. Knowing her next move, I was able to stop her from splashing in the water just in the nick of time.
As we found our way back to our seats, I tried to ignore the obvious looks and twitchy noses as the other passengers heard and smelled my sloshy shoes.
Collapsing in our seats, Lauren beamed as she announced to her daddy, "I went potty in the AIRPLANE!"
I shot him a look and he instantly knew it wasn't pretty.
Before he could ask a thing, I stopped him by shaking my head and saying, "Don't. Just...don't." I turned to look back at Lauren Elizabeth - and she had this expression from that point on...
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