The scent of campfire through your hair, the crunch of fallen leaves under each step, these remind me of my childhood.  It seems as though these days my kids are more familiar with technology and their devices  however - and this pains me.
   Our church had a retreat planned for this Fall.  It was to be held in the mountains and was meticulously organized around social distancing in family  groups.   
​    Anxiously longing for the opportunity, Adam and I gathered our four kids and headed for the hills.  We'd hoped for the best, but were met with so much more than we could've imagined.  The internet was horrible if not nonexistent altogether, there was no TV,  there were no devices, absolutely nothing...   
      ...and it was Amazing.  
     After the initial withdrawal of complete disconnection,  the kids started to (gasp) play.  They laughed, the competed,  they went to riflery, archery, they zip lined, played Frisbee golf, on and on for a full day of good old fashioned fun.    
      The fresh air was intoxicating and the colors surrounded us.  My Grandma always used to say, "Be still and know that I am God".  It was one of her favorite verses.  Life seems to be so hectic it's next to impossible to remember the importance of this.  For one brief moment, however, we were able to do just that.    
       Thank You to our church for organizing  memories that will last a lifetime.  Chip, Genevieve and Levi, you are Truly Amazing and because of you we were able to breathe in more than just the air under the brilliant night stars...we were reminded of what really matters when all the world stops for just a minute...and how that's such a beautifully, wonderful thing.

      It was hot.  Like summer in North Carolina, storms rolling in, front porch sitting, sweet tea drinking, hair stuck to your face kind of hot...and it was family picture day.
    Loading the kids in the car with their clothes ironed and carefully swinging from hangers with each turn of the road, I glanced at my husband under gloomy dark skies, knowing it was all probably futile.
       Getting pictures taken is a pretty dreaded event for anyone on earth, so much so that we haven't had pictures taken professionally in quite a long time...that is until we met Mary.
     My friend, Jen, told me about a photographer named Mary and how sweet, patient and kind she was, then proceeded to explain how she provided "mini" sessions of like, ten minute photo shoots. 
TEN MINUTES.  
    Knowing the attention span of four kids is one thing, but anyone could smile for ten minutes in hopes of at least one good shot, right?
      It was worth a try.  
     The first time we scheduled a session with her was back in December.  Outfit picking, shoes flying, hair curling and speeding like lightning to a Christmas tree lot resulted in a ten minute window of yes, rain.  
      It was just our luck, but it didn't stop Mary.  She hurried the kids along through trees and snapped away even though there was no way a picture would or could turn out with the miserable conditions.  Ten minutes later we were back in the car, soaked through while cranking the heater on, one hundred percent certain it was a wasted effort.  A few days later though, Mary sent these...  

       These are just two of so many pictures containing happy looking children, strolling through wintery trees...even though Adam and I both knew the difference.
       "How did she do that?" I asked, jaw gaping while dropping my toast as Adam shook his head, "I have no idea".
        Fast forward to this summer and Mary posted online, she would be holding "Sunflower minis" which sounded like fun.
         Little did we know the cold miserable storm from December would be replaced by, yes, you guessed it...a hot miserable storm in July.
         "You've got to be kidding!"  I muttered as the clouds rolled in while parking the car.  The kids scurried into their clothes as I hoped the downpour would hold for ten little minutes before the floodgates opened.
        This was where the fun began.  In front of beautiful groups of sunflowers, stood an impressive apiary, otherwise known as a bee yard where hives were built to create honey.  This is a good time to mention I'm crazy allergic to bees.  Our kids have never been stung, so we don't know if they're allergic, too.    
      Mary (Poppins) as we've come to call her was there ready to go as Adam and I again weighed the odds of absolutely zero chance she'd be able to get a decent picture in the conditions of the muggy heat, approaching storms, bees flying and four kids dodging  buzzes between clicks of her magic camera.   
       Ten minutes came and ten minutes went, then we gave air hugs and ran to the car before the heavens opened. 
        Driving home just as the downpour began, Adam and I again  convinced ourselves there was absolutely no way the pictures could've turned out half as well as they did the last time.  
         Then, not a week later, with a ding of my phone, I opened Mary's message to find these...

      She somehow did it again.  Even through behind the scenes of a family picture of mayhem, Mary magically snapped happy smiles before they lose their braces, she caught shaggy summer hair before it's cut away, but most of all, she captured ten minutes of their childhood that to us, will last a lifetime.
       Thank You, Mary.  Thank you for braving the elements yet again.  Maybe if we're lucky enough, we'll get a blizzard this December, so we can see you before Christmas! :)  
Here is Mary's website!
 www.marygorryphotography.com

      You know how there are those times in your life when you wish you would've thought things through?  Paid a little more attention?  This week was one of those times.
        A few years ago, we got the sweetest bunny on earth.  He was literally like having a stuffed animal with a heartbeat.  He nestled into your arms, wiggled his adorable nose and begged to be loved.  

     We named him, Caramel and he had the life.  Our four kids loved him, held him and gave him time outside on our screened porch to play with our cat and dog.  The kids and our pets spent countless hours together. 

      This year for whatever reason,  I thought of something new.  We had found a couple of ticks on our dog and when giving her Frontline, I saved a small amount to put on the rabbit to keep him from getting anything when being outside.  I actually questioned why I hadn't thought of it before, seeming so simple and smart.  
        That's when everything took a turn.
      Caramel began acting "off".  When we tried to pick him up he hid instead of coming to us.  He  began behaving sporadically and  twitchy.  He wouldn't eat, drink and eventually began to have seizures.  Doing online research only revealed the paralyzing truth.  Frontline is extremely toxic to rabbits.  We began washing the back of his neck, hoping to get it off.  All six of us tried to work to save him.  With another seizure,  our daughter was in hysterics and begged us to take him to the vet.  
     This is where parenting becomes hard.  Half of your brain thinks, "It's a rabbit" while the other half feels the love, heartbreak not to mention the horrible guilt for what your kids are going through.  My husband (God love him) ran to grab a towel to wrap the bunny up.  Telling our oldest son to watch the kids, he looked at me with that, "Let's go" urgency as we raced to the 24 hour emergency vet.   Did I mention it  was almost midnight?  He and I both thought the obvious and didn't want the kids to be there to witness  the vet putting him down.  
      As Adam sped, I sat holding this little one bundled up, while memories began to flood and I couldn't keep from sobbing.  We called the emergency vet  as we flew and they were ready to take him from us in the parking lot upon arrival.  
      In what seemed like a lifetime, the vet eventually said they could give him fluids and anti seizure medication, but there wasn't much else they could do.  She stated even in their field they have found through research how lethal  Frontline is to rabbits, but it's not widely known.  
      I was mad at myself.  Furious that I didn't even think to question before applying the Frontline.  I actually thought I was keeping him safe, yet here he was, struggling to live.
       We took him home, took turns throughout the night and into the day.  He rested peacefully, giving us all hope he was going to be okay.
       Later the next day however,  the seizures began again and we gathered around to try and help.  Placing our hands on him, trying to ease his suffering, the seizures stopped as he calmly relaxed and softened.  Our daughter  looked up through tears and said, "He's okay now...he stopped!" but my husband and the boys knew.  Looking to each of us, she searched for assurance whispering, "I'll pick him up because he's okay now" and before we could stop her, she tried, but he was gone.  
      Gently pulling him against her, she began to weep, asking if he would wake up.  She tried as we hugged her, telling her how sorry we were.  Refusing to believe he was gone, a few minutes  passed when she cuddled him and eventually broke down.  
     Going outside, as though on autopilot, my husband began to dig, I suppose in his mind to prevent prolonging the inevitable.  I followed him as the kids took turns holding Caramel to say their goodbyes.  

    I went back to Adam to see how he was doing.  Looking down, I noticed he was digging in areas of perfectly three leafed plants.  "Um, honey, not to interrupt, but you know you're digging in poison ivy, right?" 
    (I grew up in the country and he, having grown up in cities and Air Force bases, have completely different skill sets of survival.)      "It's fine, I've never had poison ivy.  It's okay."  He simply responded.

       We gathered round, placed Caramel softly in the ground, giving him final prayers with his favorite mini carrots placed on top of him.
       It's one of the hardest thing to go through when their hearts are broken.   Lauren Elizabeth's best friend came over to hug her which helped so much.
       The next day, as you would imagine, Adam itched everywhere.  His shins, his arms, his hands.  The only humor I could find through the hurt of our hearts was when Adam shot a look at me as I covered my smile refusing to give him the "I told you" speech.  It wasn't the time and we'd all been through enough.  
      His poison ivy spread and became worse and worse.  I texted a friend, Heather who is a nurse, sending a picture and she said to get him to the doctor.    

     The irony in the fact that he'll run a pet for medical attention in the middle of the night in a heartbeat, while refusing to go himself is beyond confusing to say the least.
      He  went yesterday, got a shot and a prescription and is feeling a hundred times better.  
      Life is full of ups and downs.  You learn to know who to lean on and count on through good and bad.  Some of the hardest lessons will stay with you for a lifetime, while guiding you through your path.   
​    We will miss Caramel and all the love he shared.  As sure as I know I'll never mindlessly put something on a family pet without researching endlessly from now on...I also know it'll take awhile before Adam will ever want to step one foot outside again.  

    If you've been around a tween to teen lately, you've probably noticed them strategically positioning their phone in some totally random  place to video themselves for brief snippets of time. 
     They're dancing, lip-syncing,  doing ridiculous things...
Welcome to TikTok.  
        It's the bane of any parents' existence,  a series of songs, dances, monotonous clips that somehow dig into your brain and make you want to beat your head against a wall...all while your kids seem to find it perfectly acceptable to repeat the exact. same. song. and. dance. for the 498th time.   
       Then something happened.
    Our daughter had a competition this weekend that gathered athletes from across the country on a National level.  You can imagine the intensity, stress and focus that came along with the levity of it all.  You can also imagine the amount of cell phones and AirPods abound, while athletes either tried to distract themselves and/or become mentally prepared.
       Deciding to take a break for a minute while our daughter was warming up, Adam and I sat on a bench in a hall to wait for her performance.     
​      I couldn't help but hit my forehead against his shoulder when I heard the song,  "Renegade" play, which is a popular song/dance on TikTok.  A group of girls randomly and with Ninja speed gathered together out of nowhere in front of a random wall behind us where they'd propped a cellphone against.  All of them were in sync, every move and motion together, then they started laughing as they leaned forward to replay the clip and set it up again to record...you guessed it..."Renegade".
       Jesus take the wheel.
     This is where something unexpected happened.  On their second rendition of the exact same song, another spontaneous combustion of Ninjas appeared from literally out of nowhere.  It was like a beacon, honing in groups at a time. The amazing part however, these different groups were literally from different parts of the country.  One team from California appeared as a team from Texas laughed and hugged their TikTok co-horts, then left.  Florida, met with Carolina.  Teams that were rivals put aside their differences for fifteen TikTok seconds to laugh, dance and connect with each other. The same exact moves, even freakishly down to the same facial expressions.  It was a unified language, communicated across boundaries and differences for but a second.  If all of these kids were on their individual cell phones, they wouldn't have spoken to each other, connected with each other or even looked at each other.  The athletes who were competition would've remained the competition and the nerves would've remained sky high.  
      Truth be told, we had to get up and leave before our heads exploded, but nonetheless, I had a new appreciation for the app I've so despised.
      As universally annoying as it is, it is universal.  Anything that can bring strangers, even rivals together, is something to consider.  As with anything in this world, there is bad with the good and I know there are too many horrible TikTok clips to count.  For one minute though, one painfully obnoxious "Renegade" minute, I understood why it's so popular. 
       Connection.
    For their generation to be so critically disconnected from each other on their devices, it was good to see kids actually come together to laugh and have fun.      
      The competition went well, everyone is home safe and sound and I've learned to try to become more tolerant of the teen things that make me crazy.
     I can't begin to imagine what the next fad will be, but here's to hoping it won't include the song, "Renegade" for every mom's sanity to remain intact.    

    It was a total "Rudy" moment. Our second son, Ethan has wanted to see an Ohio State Buckeye football game his entire life.  
      Being from Ohio, I've raised the kids to be Buckeye fans even though they've grown up in North Carolina. My Grandpa was good friends and went to college with the Ohio State football coach, Woody Hayes, so  our family has bled scarlet and gray for decades.
      We've never taken the kids to a game though, not even the campus for that matter...so when Ethan's 14th birthday came along, my best friends kicked in.  Sissy and Shane are two of the most Amazing friends on earth.  I've known Sissy since before time and she along with our group of hometown friends are still together to this day.  When they got four tickets to a game this fall and mailed them to us for Ethan, you can imagine his reaction.
     The day finally arrived and we eagerly hurried home from school/work, driver's ed class...and drove until around 2:00 in the morning to Ohio where our other Awesome friends, Amy and Scott let the four of us crash for the night. After a yummy, hearty breakfast, we gave hugs and were on our way.
     It was impossible not to be so swept away at how happy Ethan was, driving to the stadium.  He couldn't believe it.  We couldn't believe it, but when we finally approached, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at how much I'd cry, which is ridiculous because no one should cry in football.  
     What reeeeally made me want to cry though, was how much I'd forgotten how cold it could be in Ohio.  Our two boys were determined not to cover their football jerseys with their coats and I admired their tenacity...but It. Was. Freezing. Cold.
    Nearing the stadium, we parked and jumped out of the heated car, only to be blasted with artic air.  From that minute forward, in such rare occasion, everything that could've gone right, did.
    We took the boys to the Skull session which is across the way from the Horseshoe where they have somewhat of a pregame.  The kids listened to the band play.  Yes, I cried.  It was a lot to take in and seemed absolutely surreal to tell the truth.
    Leaving for the stadium, my husband took us to a tunnel area where the players came and went to warm up for the game.  (I'm using the word 'warm' figuratively.)  Ethan's eyes widened as coaches and player after player passed back and forth.  High fiving, fist bumping...there were kids and fans lined up to see them and Ethan, Preston and my husband, Adam knew so many of them.  I had no clue who anyone was, but loved seeing the excitement from the kids.
     Then, it was time.  Tickets in hand, we followed the fall  sounds and smells of hot chocolate and nachos, fans bustling in and out while we searched for the right section to the entrance of our seats. Adam led the way with our boys in between until he stopped, looked back and smiled.  "This is it."    
      I don't know that I could've been prepared for the view.  In complete disbelief we approached the field, the stadium was wide open with so many colors, music, cheering, the entire disbelief of being there in real life was magical to say the least.
     We found our amazing seats, snuggled in and prepared ourselves for what we could only imagine.
     It was nothing less than phenomenal. The fans, the energy the band, the players exploding through, the F-18 fly-by, the screaming, cheering, touchdowns...on and on it was one of the best days of our boy's lives and ours.  
     It's not everyday you get to actually watch a dream come true, but for that day we did.
      When it was time to go, we gathered our things, began to walk back to the car when Adam said there was one more thing he wanted us to see.  Taking the boys to where the trophies were kept, he told them what he remembered about the different games.    
    If the day wasn't already beyond any hope of perfection, buses pulled up as the football players began piling out and walking by while Ethan, Preston (and Adam) could barely contain themselves.  A coach and two of the players were unbelievable enough to stop and talk with the boys.  Ethan was beside himself as Malik Harrison and Damon Arnette spent  time with them while Adam and I stood in disbelief.  
     There's absolutely  zero chance we'll ever be able to top that day.  It was as though God was looking down smiling, He maybe even had Grandpa and Woody Hayes by His side.  :)
      Happy Birthday, Ethan.  May all your days be as magical as that one and know there is no dream or wish too big.
     THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER , SISSY AND SHANE!  None of it would've been possible without YOU!  THANK YOU, AMY AND SCOTT, TOO!  You  are So Wonderful!
           Thank You to  Malik Harrison and Damon Arnette.  We will never forget the time you took with our boys and you'll never know what an outstanding impression you made.
       We're back in North Carolina now where  the weather is warmer, but so are our hearts.  It was a day to remember without question and an experience we'll cherish for a lifetime.
O - H! 

    Year after year we plan on taking the kids to go apple picking, but the season always seems to get away from us and we never go.  There's something about the snap off a tree surrounded by the sweetness in the air that brings the season of Fall into full bloom.      Raising our kids in North Carolina, apple picking is a hard thing to do.  I grew up in the north, where apple trees were a given.  We had them in our own backyard, but in North Carolina they're a little more difficult to find.
      Today, we finally made a day of it though and found a perfect spot for an afternoon of fun.
       We hope you enjoy this time of year, whether it's through picking apples, pumpkins or picking the best of times with family and friends.  Sometimes it's the simple things that create the most wonderful memories that last a lifetime.   

    As the kids get older, I know the days of running a thousand miles per hour will come to an end.  Today we experienced one of the first of the lasts though - and it hit as bitter sweet. 
   This morning was the very last time we'd have an elementary school class field trip.  On any given day, you'd see me raise my hands in a Hallelujah and to be honest, between the four kids it feels like we've taken this same fifth grade trip to Old Winston Salem in North Carolina  a hundred times.  It wasn't until I saw Lauren Elizabeth walking with Adam when I realized...this was it.
      Just like her brothers, middle school will be here all too soon, then high school and  so on.  They're all growing and it's wonderful, but it pulls my heart straight out of my chest at the same time.
     For today though, she had the best time with her friends.  They walked through streets blanketed in Autumn and learned from stop to stop about the Moravian community of the 1700's, even enjoying freshly made goodness from the town's bakery.
     It was a beautiful day all around for a field trip we won't soon forget as the chapter of the elementary years comes to a quickly approaching end.  
​    Now if you'll excuse me while I eat a Moravian  ginger cookie.  Here is the recipe.  You're welcome.    
https://whatscookingamerica.net/Cookie/MoravianCookie.htm

     When your dad works at your high school and chaperones every school dance you attend...it's absolute torture.  When you grow up to have two high school sons of your own and a dear friend named, Tracy asks if you'd like to chaperone a dance (the first dance in fact for your second son)...it's pure bliss.  
     Christian and Ethan were lucky enough to have two of the most Beautiful and Sweetest Girls, Chrissy and Bella go with them to Homecoming this year and as mortified as I'm sure they were to have Adam and I there, it was one of the most fun nights on earth.  Everyone danced to blaring 80's music in a room filled with a ton of great kids.  There were even a couple of high school girls who gasped when they saw chaperones dancing as though we may have actually had lives before. (The horror.)
      Thank You to Tracy and the parents and decorating committee as well as EVERYONE who made the night such an Amazing Success.  Wonderful times were had by all and I know Christian and Ethan were so happy to spend  a night of the '80's with Chrissy, Bella and a Totally Rad  group of friends.   

     Her name was Carol and all I can say is everything you'd expect someone from the dreaded DMV to be, she was the total opposite.
     I should start by telling you, our oldest son, Christian just turned 16.  This is huge.  I know it's cliché to say we were holding him in our arms a minute ago, but it's true.  To go from handing your baby a toy car to throwing him a set of actual keys went entirely too fast.  On the other hand...Thank You Lord Jesus.  To have the ability to throw out a, "Drive home from school or practice whenever you're done" or "bring your brothers and sister home with you".  I don't even know what that's going to be like, but I can't wait.
     We had to get there first though.  In North Carolina kids start this process at the age of 14 and a half.  FOURTEEN AND A HALF.  That seemed crazy to me.  They begin classes and work with an instructor until they get their permit at the age of 15.  For the next year, they must log 60 hours of driving with 10 of these hours being at night.  
     That was all well and good until this Saturday.  Adam and I  woke up at o'dark thirty  in the morning and along with Christian, we crawled our way to the DMV.  The office didn't open until 8:00, but when I tell you there was already a line wrapped around the building, I almost fell over.
    As we grumbled our way around the corner of the building, we actually ran into one of our friends who had been sitting beside her son in fold out chairs since 6:30.  They were only half way down the incredulous line.   Even worse, when the doors finally opened, it wasn't until later when she sent a text saying her son couldn't take the test due to some paperwork.
      Wait, WHAT?
     Not only was I already nervous sick about our first born taking his test, now I questioned whether we had everything.  
        Aaaaaand we didn't. 
      After standing in line for three and a half years in the Carolina summer heat, we didn't have what we needed.   

     They told us to come back on Monday with the required documents and we left dejected and licenseless.
       When we returned though, we were absolutely prepared and ready to go.
      Monday afternoon brought less of a line, the woman at the front desk was the sweetest and most kind person on earth and then we met, Carol.
        I remember the person I had when taking my test a hundred years ago and the only thing scarier than the overly used clipboard he gripped, was the scowl on his burly face.   No smile, no calming presence...just a mean old man who seemed as though he hated life itself solely because of the 16 year old punk kids who lived in it.   
       Take that, turn it upside down and you'd have, Carol.  She was funny, patient and believe it or not, really, really nice.  Christian was completely at ease with her which made my head spin considering he seemed to totally disregard the fact that he was about to take one of the biggest tests of his 16 years.  
        They climbed in the car and away they went.  
      In what seemed to be a minute and a lifetime, the car returned.  My heart pounded, my breathing raced as we waited for a sign, any sign when they got out of the car.  Thumbs up, down?  Carol emerged first, but I couldn't read her expression.  It wasn't until Christian climbed out of the car that I returned my hurried glance to her and she smiled.  Christian did the same along with a head nod and a thumbs up and I screamed.  I literally screamed and jumped up and down, so much so that someone popped their head out of the DMV to see what was going on.   

       Carol laughed, Christian cringed and we hugged and danced for a minute more before I think someone may have wanted to call the cops.   
          In life there are good days and bad and this one was definitely at the top of the list.   It's nice to know people like Carol are out there, making these experiences so much better for everyone.
       As for Christian, we celebrated with dinner and a cookie cake that he drove to pick up by himself with a smile that must have been at least a mile wide.        

        Summer has come to a sleepy end and with it, the excitement of back to school has arrived.  The anticipation of new teachers, classes and old friends has the kids eager to begin. 
            As I've heard so many times before, boys are "easier" than girls when it comes to many things and although I'm not entirely sure about that, I will say when it comes to back to school, it's pretty true in our house.
        Our daughter is busy contemplating everything from what to wear, what pencils to use and what friends she hopes to sit by, while our sons are typically only concerned about how early they'll have to start waking up come Monday morning.  
       Lauren Elizabeth has even been planning all the way down to her locker for the past month.  I'll have to admit, last year was the first year we were able to have a girl's locker so I jumped at the chance to cover her locker this side of a confetti shooter, especially after having three boy humdrum lockers with no more than a magnetic dry erase board at best.  Needless to say, my heart warmed at the idea of fuzzy pink unicorns.  
     This year though, I'm tired.  I've been working nonstop and don't have the energy to fight the masses for back to school shopping for anything other than the essentials.  Disco ball locker ornaments are adorable, don't get me wrong...but maybe next year we'll be more ahead of the game.
     But then, it happened.  I was running through Target for five seconds of groceries (an oxymoron, I know) when I noticed huge carts of loaded items being shuffled around by parents and their kids getting ready for college.  The teens all wore their college sweatshirts, University of North Carolina, Duke, NC State, while the parents wore everything from fear, crushing heartbreak  to even a handful of Mom and Dads with exuberant ear to ear smiles and I swear a hop and a skip or two.  
     I stopped cold.  
    They're going to college.  They're going to COLLEGE!  We already have two boys in high school this year and in a split second, all of this will be gone.  No more lockers, first day of school outfits, mechanical pencils...they'll be on their own without a locker to spare.
    I 360'd my cart to the school supply section and found a pink mirror, pink pencil holder and decorations to boot, then threw them all in the cart.  Was it an emotional buy?  Absolutely, but I know it'll be even more emotional when our ten year old little girl becomes a teen and dances her way looking through the comforter aisle with matching sheets and towels.
      Open house was the other night and we busily cut and decorated.  It was a labor of love with anticipation of the new year ahead, knowing she would have a little piece of fun everyday opening and closing her locker door.
        We have yet to install a confetti shooter o' glitter, but there's always next year.
     For now, I'll cherish every minute...as exhausting as they may be.  My throat tightens when I think about a shopping cart of dorm decore rather than locker mirrors, but we'll get to that when it comes, I suppose.  
    For today, a sparkly pink locker it is, along with three dry erase board lockers as well...and a world of excitement to begin.  Off we go...