I haven't "glistened" in years, but I decided that there's no time like the present to try and get into some sort of shape.
You know how people always say, there's no excuse for not exercising? You have to MAKE the time? Well, here's a sample of my work-out in case anyone wants to use it - and it goes a little something like this...hit it.
Alarm goes off. With every intention to get up and sneak outside for a run while the kids are sleeping, I nod silently with determination at my husband as he gets up for work.
Our four year old little girl stumbles in rubbing her eyes and crawls into our bed. If I make so much as a move, she grabs my arm and uses her crazy Ninja skills to lock me into place.
6:01 and 30 seconds
Forget it. Go back to sleep.
The Second Warm Up:
It's too hot to go outside for a run now, not to mention, impossible with four kids tagging along, so it's time for Plan B.
Giving a quick stretch on each leg and a twist of the back, I pull the dusty conveyor belt of doom out of it's lock until it creaks and reaches the floor.
The sound acts as a beacon to the older boys as they run into the room begging to put their action heroes on the treadmill to watch them fling across the room.
As tempting as this may seem, I scurry them out.
Stepping on the treadmill, the familiar pace of setting 6 begins to remind my muscles and bones of what to do. Right, left, right, left...my usual bare feet find their comfort in soft running shoes.
"MOOOOOOOOM? I'm HUNGRY!" Our four year old yells from downstairs.
"Baby, You JUST ate less than two hours ago! Can you wait 20 minutes?"
"But I'm hungry!"
Fix a snack.
Run back upstairs.
Hit the number six again...aaaaand go.
2:18, 35 seconds
"Can I have a snack too?" Our son yells up.
Run down the stairs...somewhat annoyed.
"WHO wants a snack? ANYBODY that wants a snack, tell me RIGHT now."
Fix three more snacks and give them to children with an "oh @#$#" expression on their faces.
Run back up the stairs.
Breathing hard from either the stairs or pure anger, I hit the stupid number 8 to run faster. Watching the clock on the treadmill, I no longer keep track for time, I wait to see how long it takes for the next interruption.
(Are you KIDDING ME?)
"Can you come here?"
"Not right NOW guys! I'm trying to run!"
As visions of any number of catastrophes run through my mind, I slam the stop button to go back down to see what they need.
"What's up guys?"
"Oh, never mind. We got it."
"The REMOTE? You called me down because you couldn't find the REMOTE?"
Slam number 10.
Rage and frustration battle through my pulse as I come to realize that I won't get a decent workout, or anything else for that matter, until we wave "good-bye" to our last child fourteen years from now.
I hit number 11.
I can't feel my feet.
I don't care.
Our four year old little girl comes in.
"I'm going to color a picture."
Not knowing whether to laugh, cry or simply pass out, I feel my rubbery legs walk to our daughter.
"That would be a great idea Lauren. I think a picture would be nice."
"Will you draw it for me?"
"Yes, baby. I'll draw it."
"Yes, I'll draw Snow White."
A slow stretch occurs while walking down the stairs with a hand pulling the way. Resistance training is futile.
Beads form across my forehead and I smile at the fact that at least I broke a sweat. It was a humble attempt at a work out that only reminded me of how the "lazy days of summer" are anything but.
So, for any work-out instructors who go on and on about "making the time to exercise," I'd like to invite you to a house full of kids in the real world...with no nannies, fitness instructors or gym memberships.
There's only one prerequisite before you come...you need to be able to throw down with some goldfish and milk during snack time and always, always be ready with your princess drawing mad skills. (Action hero flying is optional.)
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