Strange you say? Here's how it all began. When our first two boys were born, I was so frazzled and exhausted that I could hardly understand why people would say, "Oh that baby smell and those sweet little faces..." I knew what they meant, but it didn't really hit me until our third son was born.
I'll never forget it...our older two boys were playing beside me and I was holding our little one, when something came over me. It was the first time I think, that I really relaxed and enjoyed having a baby - as odd as that sounds. I realized that I didn't constantly have to worry about all of the things that could go "wrong" and instead, I became content - and began to just take it all in. I found myself from then on, wanting to get my "fix" by squishing my nose up to each of their noses. The boys at that time were - three, two and a few weeks old. I would breath in to smell their "baby-ness"...even though I knew that wasn't really a word.
When they were little, their noses were squishy and soft. I couldn't get enough of them. As they have gotten older though, their noses have formed and gotten harder. I realized last night that it's happening to her now too.
There might be more to it than that. I remember hearing once that a baby will emit a pheromone until around the age of two or three, which it's parents will pick up on. The thought is, this could be part of the reasoning behind the overwhelming "desire for another baby" that suddenly hits us when our little ones reach this age...we miss that "smell," or chemical reaction.
I don't know if this is true. I do love that "baby smell" as much as the next person, but in my heart of hearts, I feel that - no - I KNOW that we're done having kids. Still though, it hurts realizing that I won't get to squish another baby nose until we have grandchildren, God willing.
It's a good thing that they're all growing up and I know that...I really do. Every uninterrupted night of sleep or diaper that we don't have to change reminds me of this.
I can't help but think though that deep down inside, I'll miss that feeling of putting my face up to a little one's and breathing in that love. Pheromone or not, those squishy little noses really are addicting.